


Not Today

by Blink_Blue



Series: S3 Fics [5]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Bigotry & Prejudice, Break Up, Jealousy, M/M, Racism, Secrets, ep 3x03, episode coda, why can't these guys just talk it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8472580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blink_Blue/pseuds/Blink_Blue
Summary: 3x03 Coda





	

“I got jealous, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

Connor hears Oliver sigh behind him. His eyes flick up to the rear view mirror, where Oliver tiredly rubs his hands against his eyes in frustration. 

“I thought this was going to be a fun night out,” Oliver mutters. “Go to AC, have a few drinks, play a few games of blackjack… spend the whole night with my ex-boyfriend–what could go wrong, right?” He says sarcastically. 

Right. Connor swings his eyes away. He itches to tell Oliver the truth. It’d be so easy, the words could practically spill out of this mouth. _The other guy was a fucking bigot, he wasn’t into you–he’s a racist piece of shit and he doesn’t deserve the time of day from you._

But Connor just swallows his words and keeps staring blankly out the window. He doesn’t say a single thing. 

Because he knows Oliver would be hurt by it. 

Oliver quickly gets tired of nothing but silence from the other man. “Connor,” he starts, but the words trail off after the name. The worst part is that he can’t even pinpoint exactly what he’s feeling. Is he mad? Is he upset that Connor blew his chances and sabotaged him? That’s not exactly right because he had no intensions of hooking up with that guy–or any other guy. So what exactly is the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach? “Can you just talk to me?” Oliver finally asks. 

“I don’t know what exactly you want me to say,” Connor bites his lip. “I told you I was sorry. I told you that I would do better. I’m… I’m trying my best here.”

Oliver shakes his head. It still doesn’t feel right. He scoots forward in his seat, leans over and pushes his head into the median. The other man jumps in surprise. “Were you really jealous?” Oliver asks softly. “I mean, did it really upset you so much? That I was just talking to some random guy?”

Connor looks away awkwardly, unable to meet his eyes. “Y-yeah,” he stutters. “I mean, of course it did.” It’s not a lie. “We just broke up.”

“I thought you were handling this well,” Oliver whispers. 

“Well, maybe you were wrong,” Connor finally explodes. “Maybe–maybe I’m just trying my best here.” Connor angrily runs his fingers through his hair. This isn’t fucking fair. He just wants to spare Oliver’s feelings, but somehow he’s getting confused about his own. “You know, it’s bad enough that everyone fucking blames me for the breakup–”

“Wait, what–”

“But we _work_ together!” Connor continues ranting over him. “I have to see you every _damn_ day. And I’m really trying not to let it get to me. I think–I think I’m doing pretty well, all things considered. So just… just cut me some slack, okay?” 

Oliver lets out the breath he was holding and eventually nods, slowly sitting back in his seat. He silently glances out the window, begging for Asher and Michaela to hurry up. No, he’s not mad. He’s not upset at Connor. Hell, if he saw some guy talking to Connor he probably would have gotten jealous too. 

Maybe Connor’s right. And they just need more space. 

“I just wanted us to be friends,” Oliver murmurs softly. 

Connor shifts in his seat. He shakes his head sadly. “Maybe… maybe one day we will be.” His hand clenches around the steering wheel, feeling the material against his palms. “But that day isn’t gonna be today.”

Oliver looks away. The other man is right. Maybe he was an idiot for ever believing that they could be okay so soon after the breakup.

Maybe he just needs to let go of the idea of _him and Connor._ All the reasons they didn’t work out are still reasons. Nothing has changed. The idea of them being _them_ again is still an impossibility.

And it was his choice.

So why does he feel so awful?

**Author's Note:**

> [x](http://winters-blue-children.tumblr.com)


End file.
